


I Will Always Love You, Darling

by Ryandoingnothing



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, Depressed Bucky Barnes, Endgame, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Not A Fix-It, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon, Suicide, Time Travel, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-03 00:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19453117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryandoingnothing/pseuds/Ryandoingnothing
Summary: Another canon compliant based on what Bucky might have gone through and felt after Steve left him alone.





	I Will Always Love You, Darling

It’s quiet that night, the only noise still audible is the slight hum of tv static from next door, whoever is staying in there Bucky isn’t sure. The bedroom he’d been given for the night looks out on the body of water, now bathed in moonlight. He still doesn’t understand why the remaining Stark family let him stay, he wasn’t deserving of their kindness, even if that kindness aligned more closely with pity than any other kind.

He felt small, the double bed was positioned in the centre of the room but the headboard was still against the back wall. His knees were drawn up close to his chest, where he could feel the slight rise and fall of his chest as he took in steady breaths that were still somehow sharp in nature.

He looked out the window where the end of his bed faced, the outline of a bench was barely visible to the naked eye, but he could see it as if the scorching sun was beating down on it. It was so clear to him all its curves and edges, even though he had never gotten close to it; he didn’t dare to back then or now.

His chest processed a dull pain that seemed to spread like poison through his veins, paralysing his body and taking over each of his nerves until he could feel nothing but that.

His mind was swimming, drowning in his own distorted past and thoughts. He couldn’t tell the real from the fake anymore. At least when 𝘩𝘦 was here he had some understanding that it hadn’t just been some cruel fever dream, Bucky had made up to help him through the long nights that seemed endless. It was as if he could once again taste the smoke that used to cling to his clothes and the fresh sea water from the old docks he used to work at just to be able to afford food. Or the warmth of another body pressed so close to his on the tiny sofa, that he couldn’t tell where he ended and the other begun. 

He missed it, more than anything. He would work every day of his life if he got just another day of being able to hold _him_ and make _him_ laugh as if at that moment the world had been put to right and not even the war could touch him.

He wondered how long he would make it through, if he would ever make it to see the others death or if he’d make it there first. Everything had melted away in his hands just as he was finally at peace at whatever time he currently seemed to be inhabiting. 

He wondered why the other hadn’t asked him to go back with _him_ that last night they spent together, where they tried to watch a film but Bucky had fallen asleep; finally feeling like he could rest. If he knew that would be their last time together he would have fought with every ounce of his being to stay awake. He had fallen asleep to the sound of _his_ voice, the voice that was telling Bucky how _he_ was going to leave him, alone. 

But he realised that night that Steve hadn’t asked because he wasn’t Bucky’s but Bucky was his and he always would be, even now. Even after Steve had left willingly only loving him because he was all Steve had left, giving him up at the first moment.

He stayed there that night unmoving and in the morning getting up for a few moments before his breathing slowed quietly, no one was around. As he clambered back into the centre of the double bed, looking out at the bench one last time before closing his eyes. He let his mind flood with images of the past as a tear slid down his cheek and a slim smile caressed his lips. He accepted the darkness that was slowly seeping in from the corners of his eyes. It dulled the pain, the last thing he saw before it fully enclosed around his eyes and memories, was the image of a scrawny, blond kid from Brooklyn he had fallen so desperately in love with so many years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> This probably isn't as good as my previous one seeing as I wrote this all for a friend in like 10 minutes while the other one took planning but they both took a lot of tears. I'm pretty sure I'm dead of all emotion now though with how much I've been crying since I saw Endgame, which was like quite a while ago now sksksksksks. 
> 
> But anyways I appreciate you spending the time to read this and I hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
